Classiness at Clara's

Posted by Erik | | Posted On Friday, November 27, 2009 at 10:25 AM

Taking the "B" Train
Our one-track minds merge into Clara's Lansing Station

The tides have taken the E.L.B.C. back into Lansing to sample one of the area's most timeless restaurants. Clara's Lansing Station was established in 1978, 6 years after the closing of the Union station upon which it is built. The owners strive to recreate a piece of Lansing's past by filling their restaurant with historical items to satisfy patrons aesthetically. This includes using an actual dining car as part of the restaurant, pieces of furniture from R.E. Olds' former mansion, and beautiful antique chandeliers hanging from the wood beams of the ceiling.

We strode in on a Sunday afternoon with new members Robert, Norah, and Moses(read his music blog for some funky tunes) in tow, looking for some delectable treats to tame our wild tastebuds. Passing the impressive brunch buffet, we climbed the stairs to the balcony seating where the sailfish and moose on the walls shared our vantage point above the brass railings and wooden floors. Overlooking the restaurant is quite a spectacle, and there are countless interesting things scattered throughout worth seeing.

We sat in the restaurant mostly alone, except for a few gangster-looking types in fedoras eating in the dining car. The created an aura of pleasantness, but the restaurant would be much different were it filled.

Right away, Norah was disturbed by Clara's chosen temperature: "It's too cold with a t-shirt, but too hot with a sweater on." However, she was pleased with the musical selection, enjoying the Beatles and Mamas and the Papas played throughout the restaurant.

Peeling open the menu gives you a wide choice of food items and historical photos from the Lansing area, enhancing the old-timey feel harbored by Clara's. We ordered our drinks from a slightly enthused waiter who was willing to help, but not more than he had to. I got a chocolate malt to start. It was tasty and quite chocolaty, but there wasn't enough malt- I would be hesitant to serve something like I received and call it a malt.

Moses, Norah and I ordered pints of Eliot Ness, an amber lager from Great Lakes Brewing Company with our entrees. Although the beer was tasty and accompanied the burgers spectacularly, each pint cost us five dollars! None of us were impressed with the price tag- Clara's would do well to lower their pint prices to push more regional brews and gain credibility with beer drinkers. We were all awed by the inclusion of Vernors, our favorite ginger ale (except for Dave, who for some sick reason prefers Canada Dry). Robert was ecstatic to find Mountain Dew, and tries to avoid restaurants with Coke products where he can't find the neon-yellow nectar. He fit right at home at Clara's.

The restaurant represents a bit of a higher price range than we have experienced yet- burgers varied around $8.99, including a choice of fries, fruit, black beans and rice, Clara's chips (which will be discussed later), or coleslaw. There were nine burgers to choose from, covering a good array of flavors including the Cowcatcher (smoked ham, bacon, cheddar) and the Philly (mushrooms, swiss cheese, onions, green peppers). Their largest burger, which Molly was brave enough to order for $11.99, is the King Burger. She claimed it was "HUGE!!!", noting the number of exclamation points. Weighing in at a pound of ground beef, it also holds American and Swiss cheese and thousand island dressing.

All burgers are half pound, charbroiled, and made from fresh patties. They cook their burgers medium well (a good level for most people) and include lettuce, tomatoes and pickles on all burgs.
They serve them on egg kaiser buns they ship in from Franklin Street Bakery in Minneapolis. The buns were definitely impressive, being more dense and more substantial to hold burgers than previous E.L.B.C. buns. They received high marks from everyone but Moses.

"Great top, sweet, toasted, weak bottom" He noted, pointing out the juices of his cheeseburger puddling to the bottom bun and possibly citing his last sexual experience. Molly disagreed, claiming the bun was "Sweet, crisp, with good contrast between inside softness and outside golden crispiness."

The burgers themselves were good, getting a 3.75 mark overall by the members. The seasoning used in the patties was not distinct, but flavorful. The meat really stood out as the predominant flavor in the burgers, which seemed to be unanimous. the toppings on my Philly burger were fresh, but didn't provide enough contrasting flavor to the powerful patty.

At one point, someone requested some condiments, extra mayo and malt vinegar. Then, something catastrophic happened. A bit of a derailing, if you will.

GFS condiments- In packets. We were all puzzled, and questions bloomed. Why would a restaurant striving for upscale quality be giving away packets of condiments to their patrons? If they do, why GFS? Is this just a lunch thing? Would we be served packaged condiments with a dinner? The packets are ridiculous- especially given the atmosphere and old-style feel that Clara's strives for. If I received a packet of mayo/mustard/ketchup with a dinner I ordered at Clara's, I would be immediately demerit the restaurant. Quality just can't be found in a GFS packet of mayonnaise, despite how cool the Blorange logo looks.

Back to Clara's chips - something the server tried to sell us on. Mostly everyone ordered them (I resisted the temptation and picked out some boring french fries) and nobody really enjoyed them.

"The 'Chips' were a disappointment," said David. "I Prefer a thin cut, wished for fries."

The "chips" consisted of a baked potato, cut about half an inch thick, and fried/baked. The skins were left on. I found it was like eating a crunchy baked potato- if I wanted a baked potato, I would have asked for one. I felt misled by the claim that they were "chips". If Clara's wanted to serve a thinly cut potato chip homemade, I would be all for it- but thick slices of potato don't quite do it.

We finished up our meal by sampling some of Molly's Blondie Sundae, which was wonderfully made. We all hoped for more room in our already-brimming stomachs to pack in this tasty concoction. Molly described it as "Ridiculously good", adding it was "Warm, fresh, and dusted with cinnamon sugar."

Overall, we had a great experience and a fun time at Clara's. The food layouts were appealing and colorful, the selection was great, and the burgers were well made in several respects. The ambiance stood out the most- I think we all will return for the experience that the restaurant provides. Save the condiments in packets, misleading chips and expensive beer, Clara's shines as a worthy restaurant in the Lansing area- a must-visit for any resident of Lansing or East Lansing, if not for the food than for the decor and history contained within. Satisfied and enlightened, the E.L.B.C. will keep on truckin'.

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Burger Math:

Doneness/Cooked to Order: 4.5

Freshness/Topping Quality: 3.5

Bun: 4.5 - I feel they would be even better were they toasted.

Price: 2.5 - Low marks due to high prices. Burgers with included sides were reasonable, but extras and drinks drove the price up far too much.

Patty Seasoning/flavor: 4

Speed: 3.5

Likability of Waiter/Waitress: 3.75

Accommodation of Special Requests: 4.5

Appearance: 5 - Moses:"Excellent decor, settled nicely between elegance and warm antiquity."

Ambiance: 4.75

Crowd: 3.75 - Moses: "Hardly anyone here, except for the gangsters."

Cleanliness: 4.5 - about 20 minutes after we arrived, Dave found a used toothpick on the table. Was it there the whole time? Did some ghostly apparition haunting the station leave it? We may never know.

My Overall Rating:4.5 - Great food, good presentation. I loved the things on the walls to look at and the historical feel of the restaurant. I hated the beer prices and the packets of condiments. I will be back.

Dave's Overall Rating: 4 - "Very good meat, bun, ambiance"

Robert's Overall Rating: 4 - "They have Vernors and Mountain Dew!"

Norah's Overall Rating: 5 - "The burger was good. I ate it."

Molly's Overall Rating: 4 - "Wish my stomach could handle this... until next week!"

Moses's Overall Rating: 4 - "I really enjoyed the decor and ambiance, with the exception of the packaged condiments. The burger was all-around good, cooked to order with a tasty though weak-bottomed bun. I thought the basic burgers were well-priced given the nice appearance, but I was put off by the price of extras and drinks."

Burger: 3.75
Service: 4
Restaurant: 4.5
Group Overall Value: 4
Group Overall Rating: 4.25

ELBC Official Rating for Clara's Lansing Station: 4.0/5
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Burgering at Bonnie's Place

Posted by Dr. James McSaddle | Labels: , | Posted On Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 10:30 PM

Bloody Mary's, Brownies, & Burgering at Bonnie's Place
West Of East Lansing's Best Known Burger

Official Rating: 3.75/5


Bonnie's Place, like many other establishments in the Capitol Area, claims to have the best burger in Lansing. But they won't tell you which one they think it is. The Western, the Southwestern,the Jerk, the Bacon and Bleu Cheese, the Aloha, and the Bonnie's are among the twenty-three burger choices available at this bar and restaurant west of East Lansing.

Located near a Burger King, a Rally's and an A&W, Bonnie's offers an atmosphere that includes a bar and accommodates those who want to enjoy their burgers with company and maybe a beer; perhaps while catching the Spartans, Lions, Tigers,Pistons or Red Wings on one of Bonnie's several screens.

They might even show Wimbledon if it's the right time of year. I wouldn't count on World Cup Soccer.

But, unlike Crunchy's and a lot of other places near campus, Bonnie's Place caters to a clientele that consists largely of the permanent and long time residents of the Lansing area, which is evident in its Sunday crowd. Many of them make their living at GM, others downtown near the state capitol, and some are are bootleggers for light recreational drugs.

Although it isn't much to look at from the outside at its location near the corner of Cedar and Saginaw, those who go to Bonnie's regularly are attracted to the warmth that is obvious when they first walk inside. A more uppity crowd might not jive with its wood paneled interior, the cushioned brown vinyl bar stools, the matching booths, and the walls lined with bar mirrors.

Bonnie's met our expectations on its interior experience by offering an unpretentious and comfortable dining experience.

Although I usually object to restaurants that serve Pepsi products over Coke, I will admit that their diner style "Pepsi-Cola" glasses were the best vessel for my Mountain Dew. I would have ordered the $3.00 Bloody Mary, which Erik and Amber rated highly, but I forgot my I.D.

"It could have been stronger, but for three bucks, I can't complain". said Amber.

"They put olives and a pickle in it, they aren't messing around," said Erik, Adding, " I was really satisfied with the three dollar Bloody Mary".

I tried a sip of Amber's cocktail for myself, and I'll say it's exactly how I like to make a Bloody Mary, which is no simple feat. Usually they are too thin, but sometimes they are too thick or just flat in flavor. Sometimes I get one that doesn't have enough ice, or one that's made with generic tomato juice and bottom shelf vodka. But Bonnie's Place got the Bloody Mary right, and next time I come I'll have my I.D.

Our server, perhaps because she sympathized with the situation regarding my misplaced driver's licence, was quick to offer refills on my Mountain Dew; which is good for you because it lowers your Sperm Count. It is, in fact, the number one contraceptive in Mexico.

Where expectations were met on the atmosphere and the quality of the drinks, there were different views on the burgers.

The server double checked every order as she wrote it down and made sure we knew that half pound burgers with toasted buns are the norm at Bonnie's.

The toasted buns are especially important, because they are very similar to the buns that Crunchy's uses, but they held the burger together better. Bonnie's also claims that they serve "steak burgers". I dislike the use of ironic quotations, but my guess is that "steak burger" isn't a term backed up by any FDA standard or criterion.

"It was at least seasoned well, and there was a generous portion of fries," said Nate, who ordered the Southwestern Burger.

He added, "The patty itself tasted artificial and processed, the texture wasn't natural, so only a '2' overall".

Erik was more satisfied with his Bacon and Bleu Cheese burger. "It had a great flavor. It was cooked right (medium) but it wasn't too greasy," he said.

He added, "Toasting the bun is key. The large portion of fries helps to improve the value of the order".

Molly also had good things to say about her Aloha Burger, which consists of green pepper, tomato, and mozzarella. She added bacon at an additional charge.

"It was an interesting enough flavor combination," she said. "The bacon was an expensive addition, about $2.00"

"They give you lots of fries, I like that," added Molly.

Amber didn't think her Baby Bonnie's Burger was exceptional. It is a quarter pound version of the half-pound Bonnie Burger, which includes American and Swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, mustard, and a quarter pound of shaved ham.

"It seemed to be a pre-formed patty, probably from GFS, the toppings made this unremarkable burger better," she said.

Adding, "I think I'd rather have a sandwich with just this ham".

I had a lot of mixed feelings about Bonnie's. Our server, whose name I failed to write down, was excellent. She helped us with our order, showed an enthusiasm for the food, and she made sure that we got everything we needed. She offered me refills on my Mountain Dew faster than I could drink them. I hate when I have to flag down a server for basic things, and this one did a great job. Bonnie's does well above average on service based on E.L.B.C.'s experience.

They could have given me half as many fries, but I ate them all. They were pretty damn good.

I ordered the Jamaican Jerk burger. When the server brought it to my table, Erik said, "A jerk for a jerk," which was kind of a dick thing to say.

I presumed that because I was eating jerk and that I am a jerk that he must eat dick, because he is a dick. But that wasn't on the menu. Not at Bonnie's.

The Jerk Burger was cooked in Jamaican jerk seasoning and an onion ring. It would have been better with a Red Stripe, but the I.D. issue prevented this flavor pairing.

Everyone liked the fries and the solid portions that are served; although the onion ring on my burger was tasty. It made me want to order a basket. I wanted to try more.

Bonnie's also serves stuffed olives and other goodies. This establishment would be wise to publish a menu online, perhaps on CampusFood.com.

I don't have an orthodox aversion to pre-formed patties, they can do the trick. But, Bonnie's Place claims to have the best burger in Lansing, and you just can't do that with a meat disc from Gordon's Food Service or Sysco. It makes me wonder if they serve the dreaded House Recipe Ketchup. When you're given evidence that the restaurant is skimping on something this crucial, you wonder where else they skimp and ultimately you wonder what you're paying for.

Bonnie's has a lot going for it, but they should consider a re-evaluation of its choice of meat.
That's probably good advice for us all.

On the plus side, Bonnie's serves dessert. We had a choice between Coconut Cream Pie and a Brownie Sundae. Amber, Molly, and Nate each ordered the latter. Everyone tried it and had several bites. But, most of us agreed that it was like the burger meat, pre-formed and unimpressive. This is the down side.

Nate said it tasted like it was a GFS Sundae. I felt like it tasted of the Little Debbie Fudge Brownies that I used to get for 25¢ at the gas station. Anyone with brownie mix, and a moderately priced carton of ice cream could have done better.

Bonnie's should consider baking some of its own desserts.

Bonnie's meets and exceeds expectations in so many ways. This good place to eat could be a great place to eat if they improved some of the food. Not until then will Bonnie's have the best burger in Lansing.

The best is out there, but our search continues.

Update: I tried contacting Bonnie's for more information about their burger patties, but they never got back to me. I will assume the worst. - Erik




ELBC Score Board: Overall Experience

Nate: 2
Erik: 4.5
Molly: 4
Amber: 3
David: 3

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ELBC Tabulated Numerical Burger Enjoyment Scale


Doneness: 4.25




These "steakburgers" are cooked medium well unless you ask otherwise.


Freshness/Topping Quality: 4

Bonnie's offers a lot of choices of toppings. Many of us agreed we would try a new one each time, but not all of us would go back.

Bun: 3.75

The same as Crunchy's, but toasted.

Price: 2.75

1/2 lb burgers ranged from 7.25 to 8.50, and 1/4 lb burgers ranged from $5.50 to $7.50. Making a burger "deluxe" costs 50¢, and includes mayo, lettuce and tomato. The Burger Special, which no one ordered includes a quarter pound burger with french fries and a domestic draft for $6.50.

Patty Seasoning/Flavor: 3

The seasoning and flavor was good, but the pre-formed patty was a turnoff for a lot of us, especially for a place that claims to have Lansing's best burger.

Speed: 4.25

Likability: 4.5

The service was exceptional.

Accommodation of Special Requests: 5

Appearance: 3.25

Ambiance: 3
Crowd: 3.25
Cleanliness: 3.75
Burger: 3.5
Service: 4.5
Restaurant: 3.5
Overall value: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.25
Official Rating: 3.75/5

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First Meeting of the ELBC- Crunchy's

Posted by Erik | Labels: , | Posted On Sunday, November 1, 2009 at 12:07 PM

The First Meeting
Crunchy's Offers A Solid Burger, But Is It The Best Around?


The road to glory is paved with burgers.

At least, that's what I like to believe. That's why the ELBC has made it our quest to seek out the best burgers around our area, where there will be plenty of tasty stepping stones along the way.

Our first foray into the world of burgers was at Crunchy's- a cozy neighborhood bar on West Grand River Ave. The ELBC met on Sunday afternoon for what we hoped would be a decent experience in a place we had come to love for their pizza, appetizers, drink specials, large selection of Microbrews, and yes, their burgers.

Crunchy's huge beer menu, including 27 taps, keeps us happy on Sunday nights, when you can get any of it for half off. Taps pouring regional beer are usually available, and on Sunday it's a sweet deal for those who are into Michigan beers. November is devoted to the hoppiest beers, which Crunchy's calls The Hoppening.

They also have a large variety of bar food that rivals that of other bars in the area in both price and quality. Relatively cheap, though greasy. their "nugs", which are balls of pizza dough deep fried and seasoned, are sold in buckets and are great to share.

But the beer and the munchies weren't the focal point this day- we wanted some love-patties from the loins of the Crunchy's kitchen.

Crunchy's looked as we expected. The walls are covered with sharpie graffiti, and the booths and bar are populated by a plethora of people from all ages and social groups. The bar's one waitress was friendly but slow, which wasn't entirely her fault. The poor service at Crunchy's is somewhat of a downfall that we've gotten used to, but the beverages and food usually make up for it.

The standard Crunchy's burger gives you a half-pound char grilled patty with American cheese for $5.75. There are options for a quarter-pound burger, a black bean veggie burger,a brat burger, a salmon burger, and a cherry burger- giving plenty of choices to customers. For this trip, we all stuck to the classic half-pound beef patty.

Each of us got a different specialty burger, of which there are 11 choices including pizza (pizza sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni) and atomic (chili, jalapenos, Jalapeno jack cheese). Each specialty added a dollar onto the cost from the basic burger. One thing to note that we like is the usage of MSU dairy store cheese for their cheddar and jalapeno, which adds a note of premium flavor that gives Crunchy's some local credibility. Plus, it's damn good cheese. Each specialty burger pairing also recommends a type of beer that would go well with it- something you won't find at most bars or burger places.











I ordered the Merucci style burger (sauteed onions, mozzarella, pepperoncinis) and some ranch-flavored french fries. The waitress didn't ask me for my cooking preference, although everyone else was asked, so I got what I assumed to be a medium burger. I wasn't impressed with the level of doneness- I thought it was a bit overcooked, although very flavorful. The others were happy with how their burgers were cooked. In addition, I found what appeared to be a mass of burnt onions on my bun, and the pepperoncinis were nearly nonexistent and so flavorless that their presence had no effect on my burger.

The others had ordered various other burgers, including Dave's Teriyaki Spartan burger, which included both the "Teriyaki" toppings (pineapple, teriyaki sauce, mozzarella) and "Spartan" toppings (ham, turkey, cheddar, jalapeno jack cheese).

Nate and Amber both ordered the Western burger (bacon, mozzarella, BBQ sauce) and Nate substituted cheddar for mozzarella cheese because he thought it was a stronger choice to accompany the other ingredients. The burgers themselves got pretty solid ratings, with ELBC giving their burgers good marks for fresh toppings and good flavors.

One thing we all agreed on was the lack of bun quality. The already greasy burgers disintegrate the buns into a mess that you can't put down once you pick up. Dave's burger was the most prominent example of this, as he couldn't put down his burger after biting into it for fear it would turn into a puddle. Although none of us had asked for toasted buns, which would have helped, this is a serious problem with the Crunchy's burger, which otherwise provides a flavorful experience.

The rating system we developed has several categories in order to determine the quality of the restaurant and the burger. a 1-5 scale is used for all of them, and the averages of ELBC members' ratings are used. the ELBC official overall rating is an average of all other ratings given. Ratings are as follows:


Doneness/Cooked to Order: 4.75

Freshness/Topping Quality: 3.5

Bun: 2.25

Price: 3.25 - It was about an average cost for a burger, but the toppings add up quickly. David paid $8.25 for what the cooks called the biggest burger they had ever made. David: Yeah, and I thought about ordering a double!

Patty Seasoning/flavor: 3.75

Speed: 2.75

Likability of Waiter/Waitress: 2.75 David: Good, recommended a tasty wheat ale, although it was expensive for a American Pint. She was the only server, and had some impatient stubby dick assholes whistling at her. She did take her time getting the change for the bill. We had someone arrive later than all of us, and despite taking her bill up with everyone else's, she brought the change back at least 10 minutes later.

Accommodation of Special Requests: 4

Appearance: 3 - This is something we've become accustomed to, with our own marks on the walls in various places. However, they recently painted over the bathroom walls (and the alleyway by the entrance) in order to cover a great deal of jokes about someone named Dinkleman along with other crude scrawls- a sad move for a place who relies on customer participation for their decor. David: Bring a silver or gold metallic Sharpie to bring the walls back to life.

Ambiance: 3.5

Crowd: 2.75 - There was a more douchey crowd at Crunchy's than I'm used to. One table even had the audacity to whistle for the waitress, in what I consider an extreme act of disrespect.

Cleanliness: 3

My Overall Rating:4 - A good burger, despite its shortcomings, but I was underwhelmed by Crunchy's attempt to make what they claim to be "The Lansing Area's Best Burger".

Dave's Overall Rating: 4 "I don't appreciate the black bathroom"

Amber's Overall Rating: 3 "I have a slightly sensitive stomach, but I had some serious indigestion shortly after eating this."

Nate's Overall Rating: 3

Molly's Overall Rating: 4

Burger: 3.5
Service: 3.25
Restaurant: 3.0
Group Overall Value: 3.5
Group Overall Rating: 3.5

ELBC Official Overall Rating for Crunchy's: 3.25/5

We left the restaurant with our stomachs packed full of meat and beer, and a long recovery period was definitely needed. After two weeks of burgerlessness, due to a crazy Halloween weekend, the ELBC will reconvene at Bonnie's Place of Lansing.


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