The road to glory is paved with burgers.

At least, that's what I like to believe. That's why the ELBC has made it our quest to seek out the best burgers around our area, where there will be plenty of tasty stepping stones along the way.

Our first foray into the world of burgers was at Crunchy's- a cozy neighborhood bar on West Grand River Ave. The ELBC met on Sunday afternoon for what we hoped would be a decent experience in a place we had come to love for their pizza, appetizers, drink specials, large selection of Microbrews, and yes, their burgers.

Crunchy's huge beer menu, including 27 taps, keeps us happy on Sunday nights, when you can get any of it for half off. Taps pouring regional beer are usually available, and on Sunday it's a sweet deal for those who are into Michigan beers. November is devoted to the hoppiest beers, which Crunchy's calls The Hoppening.

They also have a large variety of bar food that rivals that of other bars in the area in both price and quality. Relatively cheap, though greasy. their "nugs", which are balls of pizza dough deep fried and seasoned, are sold in buckets and are great to share.

But the beer and the munchies weren't the focal point this day- we wanted some love-patties from the loins of the Crunchy's kitchen.

Crunchy's looked as we expected. The walls are covered with sharpie graffiti, and the booths and bar are populated by a plethora of people from all ages and social groups. The bar's one waitress was friendly but slow, which wasn't entirely her fault. The poor service at Crunchy's is somewhat of a downfall that we've gotten used to, but the beverages and food usually make up for it.

The standard Crunchy's burger gives you a half-pound char grilled patty with American cheese for $5.75. There are options for a quarter-pound burger, a black bean veggie burger,a brat burger, a salmon burger, and a cherry burger- giving plenty of choices to customers. For this trip, we all stuck to the classic half-pound beef patty.

Each of us got a different specialty burger, of which there are 11 choices including pizza (pizza sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni) and atomic (chili, jalapenos, Jalapeno jack cheese). Each specialty added a dollar onto the cost from the basic burger. One thing to note that we like is the usage of MSU dairy store cheese for their cheddar and jalapeno, which adds a note of premium flavor that gives Crunchy's some local credibility. Plus, it's damn good cheese. Each specialty burger pairing also recommends a type of beer that would go well with it- something you won't find at most bars or burger places.











I ordered the Merucci style burger (sauteed onions, mozzarella, pepperoncinis) and some ranch-flavored french fries. The waitress didn't ask me for my cooking preference, although everyone else was asked, so I got what I assumed to be a medium burger. I wasn't impressed with the level of doneness- I thought it was a bit overcooked, although very flavorful. The others were happy with how their burgers were cooked. In addition, I found what appeared to be a mass of burnt onions on my bun, and the pepperoncinis were nearly nonexistent and so flavorless that their presence had no effect on my burger.

The others had ordered various other burgers, including Dave's Teriyaki Spartan burger, which included both the "Teriyaki" toppings (pineapple, teriyaki sauce, mozzarella) and "Spartan" toppings (ham, turkey, cheddar, jalapeno jack cheese).

Nate and Amber both ordered the Western burger (bacon, mozzarella, BBQ sauce) and Nate substituted cheddar for mozzarella cheese because he thought it was a stronger choice to accompany the other ingredients. The burgers themselves got pretty solid ratings, with ELBC giving their burgers good marks for fresh toppings and good flavors.

One thing we all agreed on was the lack of bun quality. The already greasy burgers disintegrate the buns into a mess that you can't put down once you pick up. Dave's burger was the most prominent example of this, as he couldn't put down his burger after biting into it for fear it would turn into a puddle. Although none of us had asked for toasted buns, which would have helped, this is a serious problem with the Crunchy's burger, which otherwise provides a flavorful experience.

The rating system we developed has several categories in order to determine the quality of the restaurant and the burger. a 1-5 scale is used for all of them, and the averages of ELBC members' ratings are used. the ELBC official overall rating is an average of all other ratings given. Ratings are as follows:


Doneness/Cooked to Order: 4.75

Freshness/Topping Quality: 3.5

Bun: 2.25

Price: 3.25 - It was about an average cost for a burger, but the toppings add up quickly. David paid $8.25 for what the cooks called the biggest burger they had ever made. David: Yeah, and I thought about ordering a double!

Patty Seasoning/flavor: 3.75

Speed: 2.75

Likability of Waiter/Waitress: 2.75 David: Good, recommended a tasty wheat ale, although it was expensive for a American Pint. She was the only server, and had some impatient stubby dick assholes whistling at her. She did take her time getting the change for the bill. We had someone arrive later than all of us, and despite taking her bill up with everyone else's, she brought the change back at least 10 minutes later.

Accommodation of Special Requests: 4

Appearance: 3 - This is something we've become accustomed to, with our own marks on the walls in various places. However, they recently painted over the bathroom walls (and the alleyway by the entrance) in order to cover a great deal of jokes about someone named Dinkleman along with other crude scrawls- a sad move for a place who relies on customer participation for their decor. David: Bring a silver or gold metallic Sharpie to bring the walls back to life.

Ambiance: 3.5

Crowd: 2.75 - There was a more douchey crowd at Crunchy's than I'm used to. One table even had the audacity to whistle for the waitress, in what I consider an extreme act of disrespect.

Cleanliness: 3

My Overall Rating:4 - A good burger, despite its shortcomings, but I was underwhelmed by Crunchy's attempt to make what they claim to be "The Lansing Area's Best Burger".

Dave's Overall Rating: 4 "I don't appreciate the black bathroom"

Amber's Overall Rating: 3 "I have a slightly sensitive stomach, but I had some serious indigestion shortly after eating this."

Nate's Overall Rating: 3

Molly's Overall Rating: 4

Burger: 3.5
Service: 3.25
Restaurant: 3.0
Group Overall Value: 3.5
Group Overall Rating: 3.5

ELBC Official Overall Rating for Crunchy's: 3.25/5

We left the restaurant with our stomachs packed full of meat and beer, and a long recovery period was definitely needed. After two weeks of burgerlessness, due to a crazy Halloween weekend, the ELBC will reconvene at Bonnie's Place of Lansing.